Birthday lonliness...

Hey there! Now, I don't want you to feel sorry for me or think that I'm just begging for sympathy. Am I? I guess that's up to you to decide, but I really am not!

So, tonight I went to a friend of the families house and celebrated their son's, birthday: Brandon (who happens to be my sister's age). Two different things caused me to think about marriage, his little sister, Breana, is currently serving a full-time mission to Omaha, Nebraska and there was a girl there about Bree's age that was there to celebrate the birthday.

Now, those two things wouldn't necessarily cause anybody to think about marriage, but it did for me...

Let me tell you what I was thinking:

1) Bree will get home in just over 8 months, and Teresa will get home in just in just less than 7 months, which reminds me that she has asked that I not write her again nor think that she will marry me. That seems a little hard, and maybe a little RIDICULOUS! First of all, like I have written, if she had been reading my letters, then, she wouldn't be asking that of me, but would be asking me to write more... (ok, maybe that's a little-bit conceited of me, but hey...)
2) This girl, Whitney (I'm pretty sure that that was her name), was there and was talking into a mirophone for Bree about the amount of children that she wants to have. Now, honestly, if I am going to have children of me and the woman I am going to marry, she will have to be young (as young as Teresa, for example...).
3) I don't know that I can pinpoint my feelings exactly, but being there, in a room full of people that know me--but none of which are really my good friends, makes me think of being in a party-much-like-this and enjoying myself with my soon-to-be-wife's family enjoying myself. This reminds me of 1-how I can't see that happening in my near future and 2-I don't really have that much of a desire to go out and make it happen...

In all actuality, pieces like this piece are not only fun to write, but are extremely therapeutic and help me to work out my thoghts. As the late and great Arthur Henry King wrote: How do I know what I think, until I say it?

For me, the same question applies, only mine would be: How will I know what I think, til I write it?

That is all,

JPS