Occasional Assessments

My wife, the wise counselor-and-loving-wife-and-mother-that-she-is, just reminded me of a crucial element of being a parent and being counselor: you need to take frequent and potentially constant assessments of your students/clients or your children.

Why do this?

Well, one reason is so that can know if they've been pushed too far--they've had enough.  Which happens to be the reason why this concept was recently reintroduced to me.

Another reason, and for me this has been the question that always pushes me to the next question: do they understand what they've been told or do they understand what they need to know?

See, I let the second question trump the answer to the first question (as in, they don't understand the answer to the question that they've asked or been asked, and so I need to say it again in a way that they can better understand and come to a better answer).

I need to never, ever, ever, let that first question be ignored or never asked.

You see, I believe that if the person/son/client/student has been pushed too far--if they just don't understand or "haven't got" the meaning of what's been said and I continue to ask more questions, they will possibly and most likely stop listening altogether.  Whether it was my fault as the dad/counselor in not asking the question in a way that they could understand or their fault in not wanting to listen, and I ask another question, then it is my fault that they have become mad/disinterested/bored or frustrated.

Again, it is my fault.

Then, try talking to them again without them having a bad taste in their mouth or be outright upset, no matter how much time has passed.

That's not the way it should "play out" and shouldn't ever happen this way, but we are human and all are self-deceived at times.

We should all be forgiving and charitable with one another, right?  So, this should never happen, as we can be patient enough to make sure that we all have said what we want to say and all are understood, right?

No?  Why not?

JPS