The Stigma of Mental Illness

Back in 2007 I took an Abnormal Psychology class in preparation for graduate school and in that class I did a report on the Stigma of Mental Illness.  I created a website to go along with my report:

http://www.bizniche.com/thestotts/stigma

Check it out.  Do we really stigmatize people because of their speech or their gate (how they walk) or the way they look or where they park their car?

What do we know about disabilities anyway?  Should we check out http://www.ada.gov to read-up on the Americans with Disabilities Act?

JPS

Samantha Renae Stott

born 9:27am on 9-7-12

weight: 7.3 lbs and ounces
length: 20 inches

Daddy's Little Girl!

JPS

Occasional Assessments

My wife, the wise counselor-and-loving-wife-and-mother-that-she-is, just reminded me of a crucial element of being a parent and being counselor: you need to take frequent and potentially constant assessments of your students/clients or your children.

Why do this?

Well, one reason is so that can know if they've been pushed too far--they've had enough.  Which happens to be the reason why this concept was recently reintroduced to me.

Another reason, and for me this has been the question that always pushes me to the next question: do they understand what they've been told or do they understand what they need to know?

See, I let the second question trump the answer to the first question (as in, they don't understand the answer to the question that they've asked or been asked, and so I need to say it again in a way that they can better understand and come to a better answer).

I need to never, ever, ever, let that first question be ignored or never asked.

You see, I believe that if the person/son/client/student has been pushed too far--if they just don't understand or "haven't got" the meaning of what's been said and I continue to ask more questions, they will possibly and most likely stop listening altogether.  Whether it was my fault as the dad/counselor in not asking the question in a way that they could understand or their fault in not wanting to listen, and I ask another question, then it is my fault that they have become mad/disinterested/bored or frustrated.

Again, it is my fault.

Then, try talking to them again without them having a bad taste in their mouth or be outright upset, no matter how much time has passed.

That's not the way it should "play out" and shouldn't ever happen this way, but we are human and all are self-deceived at times.

We should all be forgiving and charitable with one another, right?  So, this should never happen, as we can be patient enough to make sure that we all have said what we want to say and all are understood, right?

No?  Why not?

JPS

Energy III (excess energy)

What's going on?

You feel like you're going to explode because of all of your excess or extra energy?

Well, maybe I can understand why you're saying that because:

• I crashed my car and need a new one (even if it's just an old or used car...  I don't mind) and want to know what more I can do to speed-up this insurance process (my wife was gracious enough to drive to the towing yard and sign a release for the insurance company, and for that, I am grateful and thankful)--
• I graduated in May, and have been applying and interviewing for jobs from even before that, leading to over 200 applications with my Master's Degree (I think I've mentioned that...) and maybe a dozen sit-down and phone interviews, with no job offer!  That added onto--
• I am talking care of my almost-three-years-old son and my older son just came home from Salt Lake because his school starts tomorrow, and I am watching them while I look for new job postings, etc.  Maybe an almost 3-year-old and a 9-year-old do give me the pre-adolescent talk that I need to prepare for with a new baby coming next month, but both of those (aforementioned reasons) added onto--
• My wife is working again, and if she was able to stay home on Friday's like she's scheduled, it would be different/better, but she has to work today (Friday) PLUS go to work tomorrow, and so I have an excess of energy or too much energy.  So much that I feel tired and like I want to stay in bed.

I can't stay in bed.  I can't even stay in bed longer than the time it takes to sleep!

I need to get up.  I need to get on my computer to see about any jobs that I might have received an email about or maybe a job offer or an interview.  I need to see what other things there are (that surely don't waste my time) to do to help my unemployment status, my licensing status (Licensed Professional Counseling [LPC]), my new calling in the Elder's Quorum as secretary, or any other thing that I need to or can help with.

I've ended up talking and quizzing too much my 9-year-old son (about why the writers of the T.V. show, "Dinosaur Train," could have logically come to the conclusion that the Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaurs lose their teeth and then grow more and lose them and grow more, indefinitely), until he started to cry.  Don't think that him crying was something that doesn't happen often and should have stopped me in my tracks--I am not a heartless bastard.  But, when my mother-in-law came down and broke-up the "discussion," only added to what happened upstairs all the more.

I followed my youngest son upstairs to have him finish his breakfast and heard my older son ask his grandmother when they could go to get snow-cones.  I asked him if he had read for the day already.  He said that he would read afterwards.  I told him that I thought that if he didn't read before he went, he wouldn't read at all today, like he knows that he should every day.  He argued with me and I told him that he shouldn't yell at me and repeated what I had told him before.  He argued with me and, again, I asked him to not yell at me, just like his dad in SLC wouldn't want his wife's son to yell at him.  I asked if that wasn't true.  Just then, my mother-in-law came through the entryway between the kitchen and the dining area where we were, and told me to leave him alone.  She basically just reinforced his behavior and undermined my authority as a step-parent.

This was just the beginning of a long conversation with her.

I have too much and an excess of energy.

JPS

Are there not jobs to go around, or what?

In answer to my question posted on 8-26-2011, no, there are not.  "Work that fills you with energy" was the title of that blog, but having graduated in early May and having applied to and interviewed for hundreds of jobs, I can tell you that there aren't enough jobs to go around.

I could have a job if I had worked for a school that had a paid internship and an opening that next year--I didn't.  I had two internships (unpaid), but both of them didn't have a position for me at the end of the internship.

So, what are you filled with when you don't have that job?  Nothing!!!

You have to fill yourself with energy each and every day.  You have to create a reason to get out of bed each morning.  You have to make getting-a-job your new full-time job.  Especially when your wife goes to work every day.  Taking care of your children is also your full-time job.

You can be filled with that energy each day, even though you don't have a job to help you easily do that.

Work, work, work.  It can fill you up and make you have the esteem that, if missing, can lead to sadness, or ultimately, depression.

Fill yourself up with work, even if nobody wants to give you any.  Is a job the only thing in your life or what?  You can think of a trillion things that you can work at.

Make yourself better; more marketable.  A better manager; a better person.  Make yourself the person that you've always knew you should be, but never thought you had that time.

Work, work, work.

JPS

What to do... What to say... Shall you carry my treasure away?

For some reason, whenever I sit-down and start to begin or title a blog, the music from Les Miserables comes to mind.

"Beyond rubies is our little girl..."

And it just so happens that this song actually embraces my situation (not that I am French or already have a girl or have anyone threatening to take my little girl away...  So, I guess that the parallels really aren't that striking or accurate even) but it's just that in about three months, my wife is going to be giving birth to our first baby girl!

Samantha.  My wife is fixated on naming a girl a boy's name, so she will often be called "Sam."  We are going to have a little girl named Samantha (Sam for short)!

We already have three boys.  We'll have three boys and one girl.  Four children when we have our fourth wedding anniversary.

Our oldest boy will be twelve, then nine, then two (will turn three in less than one month), and one little tiny baby girl.

I suppose that this post has been almost exclusively factual and there hasn't been much feeling or emotion, but that will come later.

I'm really not sure how to take care of a little girl...but I am excited and anxious to have a girl!

JPS

Should we feel like "unworthy creatures" or should we "be filled with the love of God"?

It is true that we should retain in remembrance our own nothingness and the greatness of God; His long-suffering for the children of men, calling on the name of God daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come (Mosiah 4).  But can we read that, get confused, and create a false dichotomy in our minds, and think that we are worthless while God is great?

No, no, no!

God is great and we owe Him everything (even our own lives if necessary...), but God wants us to be humble and meek show Him that we recognize our own nothingness not in our low self-esteem or feelings of self-worth but in our being filled with His love and passing-on that love to our brothers and sisters, wives and husbands, sons and daughters, and all those we meet, see, our talk to!  God does not want us to stay at home (or stay at work or stay in our car or stay in the woods) and feel sorry for ourselves because we see and recognize our own nothingness.

He wants us to be happy!  Not only that, but He wants us to make others feel as happy as we feel.  He wants us to share that light that we are feeling.  He wants us to pray for help and strength to be led to those that need that light, but don't just sit and wait to be told where to go and what to do; get out!  Get out of the house (get out of the office or get out of your car or get out of the woods and down from that mountain) to where people are that need to see your example and need to know what you've discovered: you are a child of the everlasting God, He has created you, He loves you, and He will give you whatever you ask for (that is right).

The false dichotomy is in thinking that it's either one or the other; you're either nothing or God is great.  We are the children of God!  You (yes, you reading this right now) were created in the image of God and created by God.  You are nothing only in the sense that it's not in human nature to want to obey--not God or your parents or your boss or your children--but we know that we don't have to be sucked-in to those lies (you are worthless or you are a failure or you have nothing to offer) because we can be obedient, humble, patient, full of love, submissive, and follow our Parents advice and example (Mosiah 3:19).  We can do great things!

It is true that we should retain in remembrance our own nothingness and the greatness of God. But can we don't have to get confused and we shouldn't create a false dichotomy in our minds and think that we are worthless while God is great.  God is great!  God is the greatest of all, but we are great.  We are created in His image!  Don't be fooled or tricked into thinking that just because we need to be humble, that that means that we have to hate ourselves or think poorly of ourselves; we need to love ourselves because we are choosing to listen to our Father and His Son.

Writing your own History

Do you write in a journal or a diary? Why not? If you do, then how often? Why only that often?

I'm not suggesting that you need to video-tape your day and then write a transcript of all that happens...

But, why should you? Isn't it basically a waste of time?

No?

You would be surprised, or maybe will be surprised when you see how much your memory increases, when you see how much more grateful you are (because of all the more things that you remember...), when you see how much more you love (due to your increased memory and gratitude...), and then you see how much more you more you truly appreciate your life (because of the above list...plus all that you have and are...).

And, how much do you love finding a nice blank journal or diary (or, if you must, you can type it all up...nothing wrong with a virtual diary or journal) and start that day or that night! Just think, Family History Work in the process!

Not to mention, how much more clearly you will be able to think about certain topics or arguments or thesis when you write them down or commit them to paper or screen...

Just a thought, for I am not pushing my ideas on anyone.

JPS