Dear Josh...

Yes, today my mom told me that there was a letter from Italy waiting for me when I got home... When I came home and opened the letter (without being able to tell who it was from [although I knew that it was a girl...] and there being no return address]), I tried to make out which girl or potentially a "mom" had written me from Italy. It never even occurred to me that it might be from a missionary...

Opening up the letter, I was looking at the signature at the end of the letter, but was still trying to "force" it into a name that I would recognize and I couldn't. So, I started reading from the top (a silly thing to do... I know!) and read the words, "Stop writing to me, now and forever".

I kind of didn't think that Teresa would actually break down and send me a letter, but, apparently she felt that it was important enough to finally write my name on an envelope and do the one thing that I have been telling her that she needed to do if she wanted me to stop writing her letters.

She must have just communicated with her Aunt Lynne, who told her that I had "advised" her that the only way that I would continue to write Teresa til she either 1-finished her mission and she and I had spoken or 2-had written me a letter and told me to stop writing her.

Am I sad?

What do I think about having "harassed" her for almost one entire year?

The answer to both of these questions, as I had earlier explained to my Dad]:

I would have been a fool if I had not been prepared for this to have happened and naive if I was shocked by this...

Secondly, the way I figure it: As far as I know (and can only logically and egotistically assume...), she threw every single letter that I ever wrote her in the trash and never read a single one!

There are 2 very important points that I want to make about that:

1-I felt great every single time that I sat down to write her a letter, and even better than that--once I had dropped it into the mailbox. I felt completely uplifted!!!

2-I know that she didn't even read a letter (or maybe only 3[?], or at least none after the MTC) that I sent her, otherwise she wouldn't have told me to STOP writing to her... I, in no way, feel bad about having "harassed" or even bothered Teresa! Shy should I?

If nothing else, it was a great spiritual experience thinking of writing her about the mission work and text-messaging all sorts of quotes onto myself to remember to include in my next letter. And, writing a letter to a missionary is doing nothing but exactly what I was supposed to do on a lazy Sunday Afternoon...

Plus, what Teresa has chosen to do is not my affair as my concern must be only what my choices are--stemming from her choice(s). It's what I choose to do is only a reaction to her choices or given that she has chosen to act in a certain way. She is not, in any way, making choices for me, nor will I be forced to choose any particular way/path simply because of her choice. She has every right to make her own choices, in fact, she can do noting but make her own choices; the same goes for me too...

JPS