Occasional Assessments

My wife, the wise counselor-and-loving-wife-and-mother-that-she-is, just reminded me of a crucial element of being a parent and being counselor: you need to take frequent and potentially constant assessments of your students/clients or your children.

Why do this?

Well, one reason is so that can know if they've been pushed too far--they've had enough.  Which happens to be the reason why this concept was recently reintroduced to me.

Another reason, and for me this has been the question that always pushes me to the next question: do they understand what they've been told or do they understand what they need to know?

See, I let the second question trump the answer to the first question (as in, they don't understand the answer to the question that they've asked or been asked, and so I need to say it again in a way that they can better understand and come to a better answer).

I need to never, ever, ever, let that first question be ignored or never asked.

You see, I believe that if the person/son/client/student has been pushed too far--if they just don't understand or "haven't got" the meaning of what's been said and I continue to ask more questions, they will possibly and most likely stop listening altogether.  Whether it was my fault as the dad/counselor in not asking the question in a way that they could understand or their fault in not wanting to listen, and I ask another question, then it is my fault that they have become mad/disinterested/bored or frustrated.

Again, it is my fault.

Then, try talking to them again without them having a bad taste in their mouth or be outright upset, no matter how much time has passed.

That's not the way it should "play out" and shouldn't ever happen this way, but we are human and all are self-deceived at times.

We should all be forgiving and charitable with one another, right?  So, this should never happen, as we can be patient enough to make sure that we all have said what we want to say and all are understood, right?

No?  Why not?

JPS

Energy III (excess energy)

What's going on?

You feel like you're going to explode because of all of your excess or extra energy?

Well, maybe I can understand why you're saying that because:

• I crashed my car and need a new one (even if it's just an old or used car...  I don't mind) and want to know what more I can do to speed-up this insurance process (my wife was gracious enough to drive to the towing yard and sign a release for the insurance company, and for that, I am grateful and thankful)--
• I graduated in May, and have been applying and interviewing for jobs from even before that, leading to over 200 applications with my Master's Degree (I think I've mentioned that...) and maybe a dozen sit-down and phone interviews, with no job offer!  That added onto--
• I am talking care of my almost-three-years-old son and my older son just came home from Salt Lake because his school starts tomorrow, and I am watching them while I look for new job postings, etc.  Maybe an almost 3-year-old and a 9-year-old do give me the pre-adolescent talk that I need to prepare for with a new baby coming next month, but both of those (aforementioned reasons) added onto--
• My wife is working again, and if she was able to stay home on Friday's like she's scheduled, it would be different/better, but she has to work today (Friday) PLUS go to work tomorrow, and so I have an excess of energy or too much energy.  So much that I feel tired and like I want to stay in bed.

I can't stay in bed.  I can't even stay in bed longer than the time it takes to sleep!

I need to get up.  I need to get on my computer to see about any jobs that I might have received an email about or maybe a job offer or an interview.  I need to see what other things there are (that surely don't waste my time) to do to help my unemployment status, my licensing status (Licensed Professional Counseling [LPC]), my new calling in the Elder's Quorum as secretary, or any other thing that I need to or can help with.

I've ended up talking and quizzing too much my 9-year-old son (about why the writers of the T.V. show, "Dinosaur Train," could have logically come to the conclusion that the Tyrannosaurus Rex dinosaurs lose their teeth and then grow more and lose them and grow more, indefinitely), until he started to cry.  Don't think that him crying was something that doesn't happen often and should have stopped me in my tracks--I am not a heartless bastard.  But, when my mother-in-law came down and broke-up the "discussion," only added to what happened upstairs all the more.

I followed my youngest son upstairs to have him finish his breakfast and heard my older son ask his grandmother when they could go to get snow-cones.  I asked him if he had read for the day already.  He said that he would read afterwards.  I told him that I thought that if he didn't read before he went, he wouldn't read at all today, like he knows that he should every day.  He argued with me and I told him that he shouldn't yell at me and repeated what I had told him before.  He argued with me and, again, I asked him to not yell at me, just like his dad in SLC wouldn't want his wife's son to yell at him.  I asked if that wasn't true.  Just then, my mother-in-law came through the entryway between the kitchen and the dining area where we were, and told me to leave him alone.  She basically just reinforced his behavior and undermined my authority as a step-parent.

This was just the beginning of a long conversation with her.

I have too much and an excess of energy.

JPS

Are there not jobs to go around, or what?

In answer to my question posted on 8-26-2011, no, there are not.  "Work that fills you with energy" was the title of that blog, but having graduated in early May and having applied to and interviewed for hundreds of jobs, I can tell you that there aren't enough jobs to go around.

I could have a job if I had worked for a school that had a paid internship and an opening that next year--I didn't.  I had two internships (unpaid), but both of them didn't have a position for me at the end of the internship.

So, what are you filled with when you don't have that job?  Nothing!!!

You have to fill yourself with energy each and every day.  You have to create a reason to get out of bed each morning.  You have to make getting-a-job your new full-time job.  Especially when your wife goes to work every day.  Taking care of your children is also your full-time job.

You can be filled with that energy each day, even though you don't have a job to help you easily do that.

Work, work, work.  It can fill you up and make you have the esteem that, if missing, can lead to sadness, or ultimately, depression.

Fill yourself up with work, even if nobody wants to give you any.  Is a job the only thing in your life or what?  You can think of a trillion things that you can work at.

Make yourself better; more marketable.  A better manager; a better person.  Make yourself the person that you've always knew you should be, but never thought you had that time.

Work, work, work.

JPS