I was talking to a friend the other day who said that going through a divorce must have been really hard. Then he followed that up with, "It must have been really hard on your testimony!"
Actually, now that I think about it again, I'm not sure that this conversation actually ever took place or if it was all implied conversational words to what we were already talking about... Sorry, if it offends you to talk about a theoretical conversation, then, you'll be quite sad to realize that nearly ALL of my posts a theoretical in nature...
Back to the topic-at-hand though! My answer to him was that, "Divorce, like almost all things in life, can either strengthen one's testimony or it can crush it." And, if you think about it, you will need to concede that it's true!!!
Let's look at the two ways you major ways you could react: lose your testimony or be spurred on and get stronger and stronger in your faith!
There will always be different gradations or levels to one's reaction, but we need to mention only these two...
"I JUST GOT A DIVORCE AND NOW I WILL STOP ALL OF MY FAITHFUL ACTIVITIES"
or
"I JUST GOT A DIVORCE AND NOW I WILL MAKE THE MOST OF THIS NEW LIFE AND BECOME STRONGER IN MY FAITH"
Now, why would you turn away from your testimony?
--Maybe you never really had a testimony, but you only recognized the way you felt towards the church and Christ through the love that you had with your wife...
--Maybe you have become bitter because of your divorce; after all, didn't you do everything that you were supposed to have done, including being married in the temple. Didn't you keep all of your covenants? Didn't God let you down then?
--Maybe you have a testimony still, but you lied to yourself about, "I'll go to church next week" over and over again, but time passed and now you found yourself on the elder's quorum presidency short list of people-to-see-lest-they-fall-entirely-inactive!
Now, how would your testimony burn brighter even though you just went through a divorce?
--Maybe you grew from the trial of being separated and even more now that you are divorced, and turn back to life with your new insights hungry for more life-lessons!
--Maybe you were like a newborn chick ready to burst out of your egg, as you feel free now, in some ways, to express your testimony that you feel like had been being pent-up for all those years!
--Maybe you are a living example of what we learn from Ether 12:27-"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness... for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." Now they have been humbled by the divorce experiences, they are ready to show the Lord just how grateful they are for the experience!
We all know that there is no-such-thing as standing still in your testimony; it is either growing larger or it is shrinking down to nothing. You can't pretend that your trial isn't going to effect you...
Just read the words of Joshua of Old and be inspired by them, Joshua 24:15-"Choose you this day whom ye will serve... but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
JPS
Well said Josh.
ReplyDeleteI had this conversation just the other day . . . in fact I have it a lot. The big things are really the things that DO strengthen your faith. Those are sort of the easy ones. You've got your choices--either leave the church or be stronger in it. It's the small things that happen which SHOULD help us strengthen our faith. Why must we always hit rock bottom to learn?
ReplyDeleteYes, if your marriage IS your testimony, then when one fails, so does the other. It's like people who stop going to church when the bishop/preacher/leader offends them. If you rely on anything in this world to keep you strong in your religion, you will have an epic fail.
ReplyDeleteThanks Josh for your nice comment on our blog! Dave was happy to be able to find you and catch up a bit. He told me you were always such a great friend. Thanks for visiting our blog!
ReplyDeleteAnd about your post...glad you have been strengthened in such a hard trial. I have been taught all my life by a wonderful mother who has always taught by example to be grateful for my trials. When I was young I thought she was crazy but now I know that Every life experience is for my good to mold me into who the Lord knows I CAN be. I have found that "Loving what is" creates a peace within my life that cannot be found otherwise! It isn't about Religion but about coming to know Christ more fully and recognizing that he is VERY aware of you:)