Dating! hmm?

Well, it has been a whole year since my divorce... Still, I have little to no desire to start dating again. That is, except for dating someone that I have already fallen in love with.

I wonder if I'm experiencing a phenomenon (phenomenonemonemon, right Matt?) that other or maybe all people who have been divorced experience. That is, I would like to date only the person that I already have developed some feeling of LOVE for...

I just completely do not want to "start over" loving someone else. Sure, you could say (and maybe you already are saying...) that getting to know someone is half the fun or that it wouldn't be worth getting married without the whole process of getting to know the person.

If you're saying that... I guess you're absolutely right. In the moments after the divorce though, you would rather just jump right into another relationship that picks up right where the other relationship went sour. Alas though... You can't jump into any relationship and have it meet the standards that you expected and were divorced over in the first marriage. Does that make sense?

Let me just say that the only way that you are going to arrive at a marriage that you were looking for (or at least this is the way that I think of this...) is to start at the very beginning and thus be able to get to know each other and understand each other, and your new experiences and talk to each other and ask questions and become each other's best friend.

Or, at least, I suspect that you'd have to start out that way and make every decision with a solid and pure and fun and as-close-to-perfect-marriage as you can think of having. So... That's all I'm asking for... Is that too much to ask?

If that is too much to ask, I can introduce you to my ex-wife, because she wasn't interested in that either and you'll probably hit it off!

JPS

Christmas Presents...

I just love giving Christmas presents. Even more than getting presents, I love giving the presents. You may say, "No, receiving a good present is WAY more exciting than giving a present to someone..."

However, just think about that dichotomy for a second. What I mean by that is this: giving or getting presents, both involve presents, but having a present and giving it way or opening up a present and then owning it... Here's the part where I've asked you to think about it. No, not by just using the word "dichotomy" in the sentence... You're not done thinking.

You all know the simplistic statement, "It is better to give than to receive..." Have you ever thought of it from the point of view of the giver though and admitted that when you get a present and open it, the excitement is pretty much over (that is, unless you fall asleep with the present and are woken only to relive the excitement of it again. But, that hasn't really happened since I was 5 or so...).

When you are giving a present though, you have all the excitement of thinking of the gift (and depending on how far in advance you've thought of this present, this could last for months even...), and then you make or buy the gift and keep it in your "secret hiding place". Now you've got the time from when you get the gift or make it until the day that you give the gift.

Now we come to the day of the actual giving the gift... Just stop again and think of how much you've already enjoyed the whole gift-giving-scenario. Comparatively speaking, you've already far out-enjoyed the "gift getting" probability.

We've now come to grand finale of it all though... The opening of the gift(s). Even if you've never thought of this before, you actually are just as anxious when you're watching someone open YOUR present as you are when opening your own...

So, now we can clearly see that GIVING is better than GETTING... No question really (and I didn't even bring up the whole Christian arguments)

JPS

Insrance and insurability...

I've had some stuggles enrolling for insurance over the past few years. Two years ago, I had a little "misshap" with my insurance where my wife, my son, and I weren't enrolled at all in any insurance plan (EXPENSIVE medications that year! Let me tell you...), and luckily I had already filled up my "get-into-a-serious-accident-card" and we were blessed to not have any serious damage. Oh wait, that's right... Addison, my little boy, had to have his tonsils and his adoids removed that year.

From then on I've double and sometimes triple (or even quintiple) checked to make sure that both I and my son were insured.

This year I'm raising or increasing my Life Insurance to 5 times my salary instead of just 3 times. Not that I plan on losing my life anytime in the not-to-distant-future, but "better safe than sorry...". And I'm not worried about what happens to me when I die, but just want to ensure that Addison is well taken care of.

As Stephanie-my-ex-wife would feel forced to say, "Knock-on-wood!" for having even written this post... Oh well, "it's good to face your fears..."

JPS

Karate et al.

Back when my son, Addison (no, my name is NOT Adam, which is what his name means, literally. That is, unless you want to consider that 1- I am a man born here on the earth, 2- I often speak with God [hey... prayers count!], 3- every man is like Adam, as he is the offspring of God the Father and is in his express image [no, he is NOT the same as "the only begotten"] physically, and 4- we are asked to think of ourselves as Adam and Eve respectively when we go to the temple and make covenants)...

So, Addison, then... (Who brought me off point then?) is now living in California with his mom. About 3 years ago I was driving down the street and had seen a bunch of Karate "Dojos" pop up, as they constantly tend to wax and wain in popularity, and I promised myself that my son WOULD be able to take Karate if he wanted to (as I know that I did growing up...).

My point then: he is enrolled in Karate class. Kajukempo to be precise. He'll be attending Kajukempo class in California and will be going to Karate class with his dear old dad, Adam... Er, wait, I mean Josh, when he's with me here in Utah.

I love that he loves going to karate and hope that nothing ever gets in his way of taking classes and therefore, in his enjoyment of Karate.

JPS

What to do... What to say...

I've noticed that the only thing that I can count on getting me all fired up and "ready to go" is the Gospel; talking about the Gospel, discussing different parts of the Gospel, and answering different people's (even MY own...) questions about Truth.

Even when it comes right down to it... I enjoy and love talking to people (hey... that's what I've chosen to do for a job right now and plan on getting an advanced degree so that I can, yes you guessed it, TALK to kids/students about life and school). However, my desire to talk to people for an extended amount of time depends on how much we can talk about the Truth's of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

When I say, "Truth", I am not limiting that to just church-talk. Truth can be found all over the place and depending on how you are talking about whatever, it could be talking about the Truths of Jesus Christ. You see... Everything testifies of Christ and almost anything can be talking about a Truth.

Some things, though, are automatically going to be talking about Truth; like talking to my son, Addison, or talking/writing to Teresa Lynne Monroe, simply because when I'm talking/writing to them or thinking about them, I necessarily MUST admit and even declare the Truths of the Gospel. "Families are Forever" or "I do not care how fast you run in the path of virtue" -Joseph Smith Jr. (in that order, respectively!).

Am I ashamed? NO!!! Should I be? NO!!! Should you be for asking? That's up to you to determine...

JPS

Disneyland...!?!

Great place!

I've been there a total of two times (2x). The first time I went I was 5 with my Grandma and Grandpa (er, maybe 6...) and my cousins who lived in Salt Lake. The funny thing is that the thing I remember the most from that trip is falling on top of my sleeping Grandpa from the a little cabinet that was "inside" of the "living room" of the camper (or, as my Grandma calls it, "Our 5th wheel..."). The funny thing was that he didn't even wake up. In fact, never missed a beat with his very-loud-snoring from having a 50+ lb.-dead-weight fall on top of him while he was in deep sleep...

And then, in 2003 when I finally went there again, I had the best time, simply because I went there with my little 5 year old boy. That time he found every single character and had them autograph his little celebrity autograph-book that we bought for him there. I had so much fun just enjoying seeing him have the most fun that I've ever seen him have...

That AND I got to ride on "Star Tours". That was the all-time-best ride that I can even imagine ever riding! ! ! The ride is crazy-fun mostly because you don't actually move anywhere. You just are sitting in the same fixed seat that you sat down in when you walked into the room and have a whole ride in your head. HOW fun can a ride be? Answer: Star Tours.

I don't think that I'll ever go to the park again UNLESS I'm with someone who is either 1) a child who had never been there before or 2) wants to go as a family vacation...

JPS

Which Holiday Facts Are Informative, Which Are Completely Untrue? Maybe Only I Will Ever Really Know

Christmas

Christmas was once a moveable feast celebrated during many different times throughout the year. The decision to celebrate Christmas only once a year, on 25 December, was made by Pope Julius I in the fourth century A.D ., because this coincided with his annual Winter Solstice, or Return of the Sun, beer bust and orgy. The Pope's intent was to replace the pagan celebration of beer drinking with the Christian one: drinking even larger quantities of wine and rum-laden eggnog until passing out.

Many of the traditions associated with Christmas (giving gifts, singing carols, decorating a pine-needle wreath, setting it on fire, and throwing it into your least favorite neighbor's thatched roof) hark back to religions predating Christ.

Winter Solstice

During the first millennium in what today is known as Scotland, or the Land of Men who wear Skirts, Winter Solstice (the shortest day of the year) was celebrated by the Druids — fat, old ladies, wearing twenty-year-old Japanese kimonos — in honor of their Sun God, Fabio, and rejoicing in the longer days, signaling the coming of Spring.

Winter Solstice is also often called Yule. A huge log — the Yule Log — is brought into an outdoor clearing and becomes part of a great bonfire. Everyone sings and dances around the fire (with the leftover wine and rum from Christmas). All of the noise and great excitement is said to awaken the Sun from its long winter sleep — every time it had come up during the Winter it had merely been sleepwalking, or as the scientists called it, sleeporbiting — hurrying Spring on its way.

Dosmoche — Tibetan Celebration of the Dying Year

For five days, dancers dress up in hideous masks to frighten away the evil spirits of the coming year. Feasting and prayers fill the days, and the finale comes when the magical pole (covered with stars, crosses, and pentagrams made of string, upon which this festival is centered), is torn down by the townsfolk and used to beat the old Druids from Scotland.

Feast of the Ass — Middle Ages Christian Festival

At one time this was a solemn celebration reenacting the flight of the holy family into Egypt and ending with Mass in the church. The festival became very popular as it transformed into a humorous parody in which the ass was led into the church and treated as an honored guest while the priest and the congregation all brayed like asses. The Church suppressed it in the fifteenth century, although it remained popular and did not die out until years later — though it's still an underground favorite in the parishes and convents. If you plan on approaching your local priest about this year's reenacting, the code word is blasphemy.

La Befana — Italy's Santa Claus

La Befana, the kindly witch, rides a broomstick down the chimney to put toys into the stockings of Italian children. As the legend goes, Befana was "sweeping her steps" (code for "paying off the Mafia") when the three Wise Men stopped and asked her to come to see the Baby Jesus. "No," she said, "I am too busy." She later changed her mind, but it was too late. So, to this day, she goes out on Christmas Eve searching for the Holy Child, leaving gifts for Him in each household. Why it is that she is a witch should be obvious to those of you familiar with Christmas and brooms.

Butter Sculpture Festival — Buddhist New Year

To celebrate the New Year in Tibet, Buddhist monks create elaborate yak-butter sculptures depicting a different story or fable. The sculptures reach thirty feet in the air and are lit with special butter lamps. Awards are given for the best butter sculptures, and free hot bread and a small, blunt knife are given to all who attend.

Night of the Radishes

Each year since the mid-nineteenth century in Oaxaca, Mexico, on 23 December, the introduction of the radish by the Spanish colonists is commemorated. Radishes in this region grow to the size of yams and are twisted and distorted (morally) from growing in the rocky soil. These unusual shapes are exploited, as local artisans carve them into elaborate depictions of Biblical scenes, Aztec legends, and episodes of I Love Lucy (and often, We Love Lucy). Cash prizes are awarded and the evening culminates with a spectacular fireworks display and a slice of radish pie. Yum.

Hari-Kuyo — Japanese Festival of the Broken Needles

This Buddhist celebration, held every 8 December since 400 A.D., was once only observed by tailors and dressmakers, but today anyone who will admit to knowing how to sew can participate. A special shrine is made for the needles, which contains offerings of food, scissors, a lock of hair from a Scottish Druid, and thimbles. A pan of tofu (soybean curd) at the center of the shrine has all of the broken and bent needles saved throughout the year inserted into it. As the needles go into the tofu, the sewer recites a special prayer in thanks for its fine service over the year. Finally, devotees and participators wrap their tofu in paper and launch them out to sea, and the needles find their final resting place at sea. The ACLU is investigating this practice and its potential harmful effects on the environment, as many fish have been washed ashore with serious cases of tetanus or lockjaw. The needles are held suspect.

At no time should a person observing Hari-Kuyo stick themselves with a needle — this special practice is reserved for the next day when the Japanese festival Hari-Kari is celebrated.

Agency and power...

I am reading a book right now called "Understanding the Power God gives Us: What Agency really Means" by Joseph Fielding Smith...

Something just came up, while bidding on an Ebay item that I was not only discouraged from making, but my dad even said, "You better hope that you lose!" I bid 50.03 on a Paul McCartney rareish CD called "B Sides Himself-A rare compilation of B-Sides and remixes" and won it for $43.55.

Now, to the point of this post: Do we often get ANYTHING in this life without taking a little chance? Oh sure, I suppose that I should tell you that the reason that I am buying it is for a girl. Not just any other girl that I may buy something for though, but a girl that is currently in Switzerland on an LDS mission.

Am I crazy?

To add more fuel to this slowly rising fire, she asked me not to even ask her out--before she left on her mission. However, she also told me that I could write to her (though she told me she probably wouldn't ever write back...). Faithfully I send her out a nice letter once a week and never do expect to receive anything in return.

The thing is, I don't think that when it comes to people of the opposite-sex that you really, necessarily are going to be able to accomplish what you want to do without taking some risks and having a little faith. I suppose that I have the option of going 2 different ways with this entry: faith and/or risks.

What I'm trying to say is that faith necessarily includes and involves some risk.

When Abraham was on Mount Moriah with Isaac he was definitely exercising faith when he raised his hand with a knife in it; ready to take his only son's life away. He didn't know the outcome of that event and had no way of knowing tat God would stop him before he brought-down the knife and sacrificed his son. He couldn't have known that God was going to stop him. If he had known that, then Abraham wouldn't have been the great example of faith that he is.

There was nothing but the certainty that he was going to kill his son. That is what makes his act so great and so faithful. Abraham was the epidomy of being faithful, and being faithful, one must be exercising his or her agency. That is what agency means: choosing eternal life over the sin that one is presented with. To exercise faith means to necessarily be risking.

Why I am going on about this is: Nothing comes to you without exercising faith. Not even little things, because everything requires that little risk.

Sure, I want my little French-speaking missionary to be pleased with my purchase, but I'm taking the risk that she won't or that she doesn't want anything from me or even that she is insulted at the very idea of me going out on a limb and buying her an expensive present--with no guarantee attached.

On the other hand... How could I NOT?

This means enough to me to offer at least a bit of faith...

JPS

The Stigma of Mental Health...

This is a small excerpt from my class PSY 3400 class at UVSC (the stigma web page):

MY STORY

On the 8th of April, 2001, I was getting ready for the long-ish drive up to Bountiful, Utah to see my cousins' family being seeled to their newest adopted girl, Taylor. In order to travel up to the temple with my little boy, Addison, sleeping the whole-way or most-of-the-way, I was planning to drive him around in the car.

I had pulled out onto 1600 N. in Orem (that going west will lead to the freeway) to travel back East to State Street, but as I pulled into the intersection of the cross-streets of 1600 N. and 800 W. (with a convenience store on the corner--at least in 2001-2007 that is still the case), a speeding car ran the red light that I was stopped at and smashed into my driver's side of the car.

No, Addison was fine and is a happy all-but not injured boy (except for a small scar on his left leg)! Should I call him with you standing here, just so you can hear him talk to you? ... For some reason that nobody can explain, although he left my house in a front-facing-car-seat, but the ambulence drivers and police say that they found him in a rear-facing car seat (same seat, just turned backwards). Because he was in a rear-facing-position, his life was saved or at least kept him from very serious injuries...

I was in a coma for almost 4 months and was kept at the hospital for an additional eight months, but then was able to come home to my wife and my barely-one-year-old son. Well, it's been several years since then, and I am more than proud to tell of the tale. Sure, it's left me a little "banged-up" and I can't straighten my fight arm completely and I never had to wear glasses before the accident (unless I would wear "fake" glass-lense-glasses).

Oh, yes... I guess you can consider me retarded. But you can only because of the fact that I AM slowed down. However, instant-message me (Windows Messenger: joshua_stott@hotmail.com) and you will find that I am definately NOT a mentally retarded man...

So, maybe you could re-evaluate your initial impression of me and what sort of problems you would like to label me with. After you're done re-elvaluating your thoughts, please, read through the rest of this site and see what other kinds of things there are to know about the STIGMA of MENTAL HEALTH...

Star Wars!!!

Come on, every guy must, that is NEEDS to, admit that STAR WARS is something that if you were to take it away--that is take away every memory, every watching, every time you were playing "Lightsabers" outside with your best friend--and your friend yells, "Duck!" as he spins around with his Lightsaber aimed about nose level (to chop off the heads of the masses of stormtroopers swarming around you...) in one fluid sweep to chop off all the heads of said 'troopers, and clocks you in the nose (as you didn't hear him say "DUCK!") which will bleed profusely for the next few minutes--your world would be a little LESS. I mean, it's not hard... So, you might as well just admit it.

You would miss all of those opening-day viewings of the movies. Sure... It won't be mentioned in your obituary that you saw all of the second trilogy movies on the opening day (well... I guess that depends on WHO WRITES YOUR OBITUARY doesn't it?).

You would miss all of the countless hours of playtime by yourself or with a friend having mock-space-wars (sometimes every day or nightly), trying to save the little people of the earth from having to live under the evil clutches of Darth Vader or the insidious Emperor Palpatine.

Last of all, you definately miss the presige you had and felt when your relatives would set-you-up in front of the whole family just to "quiz" you about the Star Wars Universe and felt sure that they were going to "stump" the little 5-year-old-know-it-all-who-thinks-just-because-he-knows-as-much-about-a-fictional-movie-as-you-think-that-you-probably-know-about-your-own-life only to laugh and cry as he answers each and every one of the questions that you thought there was no way that he would answer.

In conclusion, your world WOULD BE LESS!!! Ok, maybe that's just MY world would be less...

JPS